Before I had my drivers licence I cycled everywhere. In summer this is a fun way to get around, tanning your legs as you go, but when autumn sets in it stopt being fun. On the rainy days it can suck hard, depending the destination, because I don’t mind cycling home in the rain. But when the wind starts howling it doesn’t matter which way I’m going and I’ll turn into that crazy swearing woman on her bike.
What is it with wind that just gets my panties in a bunch?!
Out of my element
I’ve only recently taken the time to dive into my discomfort around wind and the Air element. I know why I’m comfortable with the other 3, Earth being numero uno because I’m a Taurus and I’m a very happy Earth sign. Love being around the house, having a hot coco under a blankie on the couch and I love my man, my babygirl, family and friends fiercely. Water comes next, I love being in water, especially sea water, I value emotions and I associate elegance with this element. Third place goes to Fire, the transformative element that lights me up from time to time and gets me of my butt and starting new things. I love evenings by the fire, and in the darker days there are candles burning everywhere in the house.
But Air, ugh… It is cold, intellectual and UNCOMFORTABLE. This feeling comes up a lot when I do tarot readings and the suit of Swords infiltrates a otherwise perfectly harmonious reading. That 3, 5, 9 and 10 of Swords still have me going “O, heeeeeeell no!” when they make their appearences. Such a strong reaction from a calm and collected cardslinger. The last experience I’ve had in this department was on my moms birthday, where I let her pull 3 cards from my tarot deck. ALL SWORDS! I’m not going to let my mother touch my cards ever again, that’s for sure. Yet another situation I was freaking uncomfortable with the presence of Air. The question rose again, what’s up with that?!
Embracing the shadow
Doing some soulsearching after that experience has provided me with clarity around my dismay around Air. I am very happy dreaming up stuff, working with emotions and operating within my very cosy parameter. Air has been challenging me to get out out of there and reflect on my thoughts and actions. As an Earth sign I can be very difficult to move beyond what is familiar to me. When the mind isn’t clear there is room for suggestion and exploration but when there actually is clarity I can move forward. Start that project, plan it out, get to creating, no more dreaming! This means actually showing up for your craft, stepping up to the plate. Empowering, yet for me it was so damn scary!
And this is what it all comes down to for me in the end: Air makes you look at your pain. The rejections, the awkwardness, the fear. That painfully pierced heart or dying rose (Thothgirl right here!) depicted in the 3 of Swords crashes into my emotional waters so loudly. The blooddripping swords in the 9 of Swords terrifies me and I just want to put the card right back where it came from. Upon reflection I discovered that I still have challenges to face, I need to work on some lingering pain from the past. But there is plenty of room to work with it as well, some lasting impressions have shaped me and made me the wonderful weirdo I am today.
It will stay uncomfortable for me when Air is involved, but it’s cool. Our shadows are part of our being just as much as our light. I know now that Air wants me to ride the winds of change and grow beyond what I think I’m capable of. This down to Earth fox is going airborne, and it feels good.
Have you thought about what might be your shadow element, and how do you work with it? I would love for you to share your insights!